Should You Even Try to Win Your Ex Back?

In the first few days, even weeks, after your breakup, the only thing you can think about is how to get your ex back. It's understandable. Depending on how long the two of you were together, you've shared a lot of life. It's hard to just walk away and pretend it never happened.

The odds are good that your ex isn't walking off unaffected either. The only real difference is that your ex has been thinking about this for a while. People don't walk away from long-term-relationships on a whim. In other words, your ex has had a little more time to deal with the emotional side of the decision than you have.

If you're struggling to decide if the right choice is to walk away or fight to get your ex back, these questions should help you decide.

Is the Love Still There?

This is a huge question you need to know the answer to before you make a single step to try and win your ex back. While you can only guess about how your ex really feels, you can, and should, explore your own feelings in depth before making your next move. If the love isn't really there, you should not waste your time and energy, or that of your ex, trying to rekindle something that's simply not there anymore.

Is the Relationship You Had Truly Worth Rehashing?

Most relationships have their shares of ups and downs. Successful relationships have far more ups in them than downs. Take a look back over the course of your entire relationship. How do the ups compare to the downs for you? Were the good times really good? How bad were the darkest days? Are you willing to experience them again if necessary?

How far are You Really Willing to Go to Make It Work?

You must be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work in most cases for that to happen. Your ex is likely to throw in a few pitfalls and tests along the way, if he or she is even willing to give it a go. Be prepared for them and ready to ace them with flying colors. Don't even think about letting her see you sweat. But the willingness goes even deeper than passing a few tests. You must be willing to make a few vital changes for the sake of your relationship. But you won't often find out what they are until the moment arrives. Just be prepared. Some of the changes may not be all that simple to make.

Most importantly, however, is your willingness to be the one to wait. This is often the most difficult, and most necessary, part of winning back your ex. Waiting for the right moment, though, makes all the difference in the world. I can help you understand when that moment is and help you come up with the ideal strategy to turn it into a prime opportunity.

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